Pardon me while I whine!

I've spent three days in the oversized chair in my family room whining like a baby. My knee feels like someone took an axe to it. I was told to take the bandage off yesterday, so I did. I was surprised to see how much my knees don't match.

I've never thought that knees were very pretty, but in comparison, my left one is downright beautiful!  Not only is my knee grossly distorted, my whole leg is swollen! My meniscus had shredded, but on top of being shredded, it had flipped over as well. I also was the proud owner of an uneven patella (kneecap), which required shaving on the underside so that it will slide over the bones easier. This, I'm told, is due to age. Lovely! I spent most of yesterday being mad at myself for allowing someone to mutilate my knee. Sure, it hurt before, but I was certainly better off than I am now. My plan was to show Patrick up in the recovery game. He did great, I wanted to do even  better. My ego has been squashed. He wins.

This hurts, and it hurts constantly. I have plenty of narcotics to help with the pain, but I hate taking them. I don't like the feeling of being drugged and fuzzy. However, when I'm not "drugged and fuzzy", I'm a whining bitch. Which is why, I suppose, my family keeps asking me if I've taken any pain pills lately. I have my first physical therapy session this afternoon. I will be taking said narcotics before I go there. The therapy will take place at the hospital where I work. I will have to see these people after this is all over. I cannot be a whimp or a crab. Maybe I could wear a mask.

I've decided that I'm a rotten patient. I had gathered lots of books and magazines to read while I sat on my butt healing. I have Sudoku puzzle books, Scrapbooking magazines and lots of things to entertain myself. I actually imagined that I would enjoy just being lazy and reading and watching television. I'm going stark raving mad. I've wallowed that chair to death trying to find a comfortable position (there are none), there is nothing even remotely interesting on television and I can't focus on reading due to "narcotic brain". I can't sleep for more than 2 hours at a time. In short, I'm not a fun person lately.

If anyone has any suggestions for improving my disposition, my family would be eternally grateful.